Melton Grace

I don't remember the last time I blogged. Since I have been on facebook I haven't much because I feel like I can post most of my pictures there for loved ones and then I don't have to worry about writing something to go along with it. But sometimes there are words that must be said and so I am writing this here with no idea of whether the people who used to visit here for updates will even read this. Tonight, as I edited pictures of the women I spent my last weekend with, I looked at a picture of a smile. It was a smile I met 18 years ago and it is a smile that has become a part of my being. I sat staring at the picture with the familiar arched eyebrow smile and the unfamiliar baby bump and the love that I felt stunned me. It stuns me now as I try to find the words to describe how I feel about these three women. It is a love that knows time. It is a love that knows details of the past. It is a love that has memorized catch phrases and facial expressions. It is a love that has known me longer and better than I have known myself. Sure, there are missing pieces here or there as time got away from us, but there is so much that remains the same. People tell us often what a blessing our friendship is and how rare and special it is, but all that sounds so cheesy and insufficient as a description for what I really feel keeps us together. Their presence in my life makes me feel full and when too much time has passed between our time together, I start to feel a little suffocated. But then we come back together and I inhale as deeply as I can for whatever amount of time I have just to make sure it will be enough to tide me over until our next moments together. It isn't always easy. Being real can be difficult and sometimes painful with people you haven't seen in a while... but it only seems to take moments before it begins pouring out of us. And even though our stories continue on and become deeper and more complicated, I often feel like they know what I am about to say before I say it.

And I imagine us now, wrinkles and gray hairs from all the stories we have told. After all the years, we will still insist on stacking ourselves in a pile on a couch and laughing our way through the pain. Megan, with all of her love, so much you think her heart might explode right out of her chest. Jaclyn, with all of her strength, will continue fighting her way bravely through the world. And Lara, with all of her loyalty, will continue to bring us all back together despite our many excuses. They are the most beautiful women I have ever known.