My daughter has no fear... which creates great fears in her mother. Here are some pictures from this last week of her latest climbing expeditions. She looks very confident doesn't she? This makes me a nervous wreck because she has no idea what could happen to her - not a clue. I blame myself for this. Since she was a baby I have made it a point not to hover and to let her find out for herself the consequences of her actions. Mothers who inhale a loud breath and jump to their child's rescue every time they trip make me crazy and I have always felt it makes their children scared to do things on their own as they get older. So, though I have a physical reaction inside every time she falls down, I do everything in my power to keep my feet planted and give her a chance to dust herself off. She usually does, but as she gets bigger she is definitely taking bigger risks. I tell myself, stay close enough to catch her if she falls, but give her the space she needs to try things. Now I'm asking myself - where do I draw the line? She can't run out in the road and this has been a tough lesson with all of the kids who play out in the middle of the cul de sac each evening. She can't climb the stairs alone - mostly because I have nightmares of her falling down those stairs on a regular basis. However, if she falls from the fence, how much damage could she do to herself, really? I suppose it depends on how exactly she lands. Or if she tumbles out of her stroller will be be a goose egg on her forehead or a broken limb?
Yesterday she tumbled off a chair at starbucks while she was coloring and not paying attention and though I was sitting right next to her - it happened so fast I didn't even realize it was happening until she was a heap on the floor. The tumble would haven't been to bad except she landed smooshed between the chair and the wall. I picked her up and waited for the first big scream that always comes when it really hurts... a big inhale with her mouth wide open and waiting.... waiting... waiting.... and there it comes. She sobbed in my arms as I rocked her back and forth telling her it's okay. Three or four good wails and she was right back to coloring like it had never happened. Her recovery time always shocks and amazes me.
And then I realized... it doesn't matter if I'm right next to her watching her every move or not. She's going to fall sometimes and it's going to hurt. There are obvious times when I will do everything I can to prevent this from happening, but most of the time it's out of my control. So I will continue to pray that her pains will be minor ones and be thankful she won't ever miss out on something because she is afraid.
