The words to this song have been floating through my head for 2 days now. I am officially done and though I'm so excited to have time to spend working on things at home and hanging out with Ava, I'm already feeling a little lonely.
In the past couple of months I've been thinking a lot about the fact that I have, since the day I was born and up until I married Greg, always lived with other women. And, being the social person that I am, this had worked very well for me. Women love to talk, share in conversation, and listen to other women's stories. But lately I have found a longing for that kind of closeness. Greg, wonderful man that he is, has to process every word that comes out of my mouth before he can formulate a response. For those of you that know how quickly I process and converse, you can imagine the frustration I feel when trying to communicate with him. I can only imagine the overwhelming feeling he must have in trying to sort through the thousands of thoughts that fly out of my mouth at any given moment.... and I appreciate his attempts. But, it isn't the same and I find myself missing those kinds of conversations. The ones women have that go on and on for hours and seem to have no lull, but continue seamlessly into the night.
There are three women with which I have had such conversations over and over again and my heart longs to see them. To sit on a porch in the summer night and talk about nothing and about everything all at once. The summers used to be filled with such nights and I find myself wondering lately why I don't have those friendships now. Is it because I'm older? Is it because I'm busier? Is it because the opportunity and time it takes to forge such a close friendship no longer exists for me? I don't know the answer, but it is the question of my heart right now.
I love you ladies - you know who you are and I miss you deeply.
2 comments:
i miss you, too.
That made me cry.
Sometimes I can't figure it out either. Were we blessed beyond what is normal growing up? Or is this just part of it for everyone?
A few weeks ago, on one of my on-call nights, I was driving at dusk on country roads. The weather felt like those summer nights at home and the sky was lit up with shades of sunset at dusk. The hills, the music, and this is pathetic but even the smell of hay and cows made me homesick. :) Soooo Wisconsin!
We drove along umpteen thousand hills in the country on nights just like those. We sang our hearts out to the songs on the radio. We laughed and cried and dreamed side by side; that knowing of each other's souls. It just felt so easy and good to be understood and maybe that's what each one of us misses. There's no denying we have the most amazing, gracious men at our side-and this ache has nothing to do with them...it's a place they can't fill with their words or their love because it isn't their place to fill. My girls have a place inside my heart, each unto their own. And, yes, Marcia I so completely feel that void when it's been a while and we haven't been together.
so maybe it's just time.
:)
i love you.
It is definitely time! It is time to see you and talk with you and laugh with you... "that knowing of each other's souls." This is the part that I miss... well put.
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